For Want of Chocolate
by NekoHitori
Summary: A Juxtaposition fanfic. Three women discuss the foods that they miss most. Rated PG-13 only for language.
1. Chapter 1

"Sunchips

**Title:** For Want of Chocolate

**Rating:** PG-13 (because Neko and Cafei have potty mouths)

**Disclaimer:** Cafei belongs to herself, Evelyn belongs to Vaeru, Transformers belong to Hasbro, and all name-brand foods belong to their manufacturers. Pretty much the only things I own are Neko and the chocolate shirt.

**Special Notes:** This is a _Juxtaposition_ fanfic. Yes, a fanfic of a fanfic. Although, technically it's a fanfic of a fancomic of a fanfic. Confusing? Probably. Sad? Most likely. Inspired entirely off of a strong craving for Sunchips one afternoon.

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"Sunchips."

"Huh?" Evelyn and Cafei both looked up from their handfuls of edible sponge. The new girl, Neko, looked back at them, staring into their eyes before repeating, "Sunchips."

"What about 'em?"

"I miss them," Neko stated with a pout. "They're all nice and crunchy and tasty and not foam."

Cafei looked down at her so-called meal and nodded. "Sunchips are good. Doritos are better."

"Wheat Thins."

"Potato chips."

"Triscuits."

Sideswipe sighed. _'Here we go again.'_

Ignoring him, Evelyn added her two cents. "Triscuits with cheese."

Neko grinned and 'ooo'ed, setting aside her own food; it was nowhere near as appealing as where this conversation was going. "Cheese in general."

Cafei mirrored her grin. "Macaroni and cheese."

"We've got the blue-box blues, yo."

Evelyn giggled. This new girl might've been crazy, but at least she was a different kind of crazy than what was already on board. "Spaghetti and meatballs."

"With mushrooms."

Cafei made a face that either said "eeeew…" or "what, are you crazy?" Neko just shrugged. "Can't help it if I'm a hobbit."

"You're not a hobbit!"

'_What's a hobbit?'_

_It's a human-like race that likes mushrooms. Tolkien made them up._ Trying to break up a potential fight, the eldest woman returned to food that they wish they had right now. "Cake."

"Nice! Chocolate cake!"

"Chocolate cake with cream cheese icing."

All three of them paused to drool; it was Neko that broke the relative silence. "Cheesecake."

"Turtle cheesecake."

"Chocolate cheesecake!"

At that, the trio sighed and in unison said forlornly, "Chocolate."

The game had quickly turned from fun into depressing. Months on end without chocolate were, in their humble opinions, the newest level of Hell. Neko retrieved her synthetic food; not feeling hungry anymore, she started picking at it, digging little holes in it with her fingernails. Feeling eyes boring into her, however, she paused and looked up.

Evelyn was staring at her. No. Correction: Evelyn was staring at her chest. Feeling uneasy, Neko covered the area with one arm and waved her other hand in front of the woman's line of sight. "Uh, Evy? Ma'am?"

Evelyn looked up, her face somber. "Your shirt."

"What about it?" Frowning, Neko crossed her waving arm over the shirt and scooted a few inches away.

"It has the chemical formula for chocolate on it."

Cafei's head snapped up. "What?"

"Right there! It has the formula and the molecule for chocolate!" Evelyn pointed at the shirt design that Neko desperately tried to hide. Cafei followed the pointed finger with her eyes, and sure enough, there were the 'C's and 'N's that made up part of the beloved treat.

Time stood still as the three women looked at each other. One gaze was apprehensive, while the other two were calculating.

Then, as though waiting for some unheard signal, they all moved at once. Neko started backing away in as quick of a crabwalk as possible right when Cafei and Evelyn lunged forward.

"I got her! I got her legs!"

"Gimme that shirt!"

"Get the fuck off me!"

"Ah! No kicking! Stop kicking!"

"Come on! We need to give your shirt to Whee- Hey! No biting!"

"Then let! Go!"

"Ow! Shit! Ratchet!"

Out in the medbay, not even bothering to look up from the workbench he was wiping down, the medic sighed. "Every fraggin' time."

oOoOoOo

**End A/N:** I have no idea what Cafei and Evy's food preferences are except for what's been mentioned in _Juxtaposition_ and other Jux fanfics/fancomics. Whether or not Cafei prefers Doritos or if she hates mushrooms is complete guesswork. Therefore, if I've gotten anything wrong, well, that's what the artistic license is for.


	2. Chapter 2

"Uh uh

**Title:** Uh… Any suggestions? Because I have no clue.

**Rating:** PG, PG+

**Disclaimer:** Cafei belongs to herself, Evelyn belongs to Vaeru, Transformers belong to Hasbro, and Neko belongs to me

**Author's Notes:** I am so very weak. This should've stopped after the first chapter. Also, Hearts is a fun game; you should all learn to play it. And I don't mean the mamsy-pamsy computer version. It's always better with people. Finally, this is unbeta'ed, so feel free to point out any mistakes I made.

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"Uh uh. No way, yo."

"I can, too!"

Evelyn sighed and looked at her cards, ignoring the two girls bickering. 'Hmm… Spade lead, and I can go either way. Question is, does she have the queen or not?' She cast a glance over at Neko, but the younger had a surprising good poker face.

'_What's it matter what card you play?'_

_Well, if I play my king, and if she has the queen, then I get thirteen points. Cafei already has two, so I can't run._

'…'

_Oh, forget it. You'll learn better by watching, anyways._ Deciding not to risk it, Evelyn tossed out her ten of spades. At Neko's grimace, she knew she made the right choice.

"Ah, son of a-"

"Language, deary."

Neko shot a glare Cafei, who delivered the condescending jib. "Oh, ha ha," she grumbled as she gathered up her cards. She was starting to regret ever suggesting that they make a deck to play Hearts. "You're still a liar."

It was Cafei's turn to make a face. "I am not!"

"You are, too!"

"Am not!"

"Then prove it."

"Huh?" Both college students turned to stare at the professor; that is, the alien robot inhabiting the professor's body.

"You heard me," Sideswipe said, twisting Evelyn's mouth in a grin. "Prove it. Next mech that walks in here."

Cafei eyed Sideswipe cautiously before sticking out her hand. "Deal."

The grin on Sideswipe/Evelyn's face widened as they shook hands. _'This is going to be fun to watch.'_

No sooner had he thought that, the medbay door slide open to reveal the last mech any four of them would've expected.

"Ah. Evelyn, Cafei, Neko," Optimus Prime greeted them all with a nod. "I see that you are all well. Not plotting anything devious, I hope, if only for the sake of our security officer." The gleam in his optics conveyed the warm smile he gave the ship's organic guests.

While Neko and Evy responded to Optimus with smiles of their own, Cafei's mouth had dropped open in shock. No. Not Prime. Anybody but Prime!

She almost grimaced away from the sidelong glances the other two women were giving her. There was no way in Hell she could back down; the others wouldn't let her live it down. And she had to act fast, before her quarry got away.

"Uhm, Prime?" she squeaked before clearing her throat and trying again. "Prime, sir?"

Optimus tilted his head bemusedly; it was rare for this young lady to speak to anyone in such a manner, much less use the word 'sir.' "Yes, Cafei?"

Fighting back an embarrassed blush, she stood up and pressed on, stoically ignoring the incredulous and highly amused looks she was receiving from her fellow humans. "Can… Can I ask you a favor?"

"Certainly." The Prime took a few steps forward. "What is it that you need?"

Cafei just beckoned him to come closer, and continued to do so until he was standing right next to their counter. Then, she made a small motion with her hands to turn around. Optimus hesitated, but knew that she could do no harm to him, and her companions would stop her from going overboard. Although, the looks the other two were giving her were slightly disconcerting. Still, he said that he would help.

Feeling resigned to his duty, Optimus turned around, baring his back to the trio.

"Back up some more?"

He took another step back, the back of his thighs clanging against the counter's edge. "What exactly is this for?"

Cafei paid no attention to his question; instead she cocked her head to the side, sizing up what was in front of her before nodding to herself. A grin broke out over her face; this'll teach Neko for calling her a liar.

With that thought running through her mind, she slowly drew back her foot, savoring the moment, before letting loose and striking Optimus Prime square on the skid plate.

In that room, time froze briefly; nothing moved until Cafei very calmly put her foot down, walked back to her spot, sat down, and picked up her cards.

"I told you I can kick any mech's aft."

At that, the flow of time was restored. Optimus half-turned to gape at her, along with Evelyn/Sideswipe, and Neko exclaimed, "Oh. My. God!"

Cafei just quirked an eyebrow and replied, "Your lead, Neko."


	3. Chapter 3

It was bound to happen eventually

**Title:** Syncronization

**Rating:** PG, for talk of icky female body changes

**Disclaimer:** Cafei is her's, Evelyn is Vaeru's, Transformers is Hasbro's, and Neko is mine.

**Author's Notes:** Remember what I said last time about me being weak? Yeeeeeeaaaah…

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It was bound to happen eventually.

Not that anybody knew. Well, anybody that was going to be the most grievously harmed by it. Only three had a clue as to what was happening. The rest… they got to find out the hard way.

It started with Evy, Cafei, and Neko cycling on completely different weeks. The mechs were accustomed to this, and knew what to expect of each of the organic femmes.

Evelyn, as they all knew, became highly emotional, got horrible cramps, and was quick to smart-mouth anybody that so much as looked at her cross-eyed.

Neko's cycle was slightly less stable; she tended to seclude herself and refused to eat until she was almost sick, saying that she wasn't hungry for the nutritional cubes they had. Once, Ratchet had overheard her muttering to herself that this would be much better for everyone if she had her pills to keep her from turning into a homicidal maniac, and that was _all_ she ever used them for, thank you very much.

Cafei was the least stable. Her cramps, so she would claim, would take down an entire Decepticon squadron, and her cycling schedule fluctuated between every two weeks to a couple of months. On top of that, she became easily irritable, and an irritated Cafei is no Sunstreaker's friend.

Still, the mechs inhabiting Metellus have grown accustomed to this behavior. And when the femme's periods started growing closer to each other, they thought nothing of it. Not until one fateful day when Ratchet walked in their living space only to be greeted by three identical glares.

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"…so I figured it was just- hey, what's that?"

Jazz blinked himself out of the stupor Bluestreak's rambling had sent him into. "What's what?"

"There's some sort of sign next to the Med Bay."

"Really? Lemme see…"

Sure enough, someone had affixed a sign outside of the Med Bay, cautioning all those who passed by.

_Warning: Three highly emotional organic females within. Enter at your own risk._

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**Ending A/N:** No, I don't know who made that sign. If anyone figures it out, let me know so I can "teach" that smart-aft a thing or two about respect.


End file.
